አለማችን ብዙ የአሸናፊነት ስለልቦና ያለቸው ሰዎችን ወልዳለች፡፡ ዛሬ ላለችበትም የስልጣኔ ደረጃ የበቃችውም እነዚህ ሰዎች ባፈለቁት ሀሳብና በሰሩት ድንቅ ስራ ነው፡፡ በዚያው ልክ ደግሞ ተሸናፊ ስነ ልቦና ያላቸውንም አፍርታለች፡፡ ዓለማችን ቀውስ ውስጥ የምትገባው፣ ሰላሟ ሁል ጊዜ የሚናጋው፣ እርሃብ እና ስደት የሚስተዋለው በእነዚህ ሰዎች ምክንያት ነው፡፡
በሁለቱም መካከል ሊኖረው የሚችለው ትልቅ ልዩነት የአመለካከት ነው፡፡ የተሸነፈ አመለካከት የያዙ ሰዎች ግብ አይኖራቸውም፡፡ ቢኖራቸውም አያሳኩትም፡፡ አሸናፊ አመለካከት ያያዙ ሰዎች ደግሞ ግብ አላቸው፡፡ ያሳኩታልም፡፡ እነዚህን ሰዎች የምናውቃቸው በፍሬያቸው ነው፡፡ ስኬታማ መሆንናቸውና አለመሆናቸው ይህንን በደንብ ያሳያል፡፡ አሸናፊዎች ስኬታማ ናቸው፡፡ ተሸናፊዎች ደግሞ ሁልጊዜ እንደተሸነፉ ስለሚኖሩ በህይወታቸው ስኬታማ መሆን አይችሉም፡፡ ሲጀመር ስኬታማ ሊያደርግ የሚችል ሀሳብ የሚመነጨው የአሸናፊነት ስነ ልቦና ካላቸው ሰዎች ነው፡፡
የስነ ልቦና ባለሞያዎች አሸናፊነትም ተሸናፊነትም ከፈጣሪ የሚሰጥ እንዳልሆነ በብዙ ማስረጃ ይናገራሉ፡፡ “መሸነፍም ማሸነፍም መነሻው አስተሳሰብ ነው፡፡” ይላሉ፡፡ ሽንፈት ሲገጥመን በሰይጣን፤ ድል ስናደርግ በፈጣሪ ማመካኘት ልክ እንዳልሆነ ደግመው ደጋግመው ይናገራሉ፡፡ ከውልደት በኋላ እራሳችን ለራሳችን የምናጎናፅፈው ስነ ልቦና እንጅ፡፡ ስንወለድማ ሁላችንም በእኩል ያለምንም ልዩነት ነው፡፡ ታዲያ ይህ የስነ ልቦና ልዩነት ከየት መጣ ብለን ከጠየቅን መልሱ ሊሆን የሚችለው ለነገሮች ያለን የተዛባ አመለካከት እንደሆነ ማወቅ ያስፈልጋል፡፡ መልካም እይታ ያላቸው ሰዎች አሸናፊዎች ናቸው፡፡ የተዛባ አመለካከት ያላቸው ሰዎች ተሸናፊዎች ይሆናሉ፡፡
አሸናፊ ስነ ልቦና ያለው ማን ነው?
የአሸናፊ ሰው በጣም ደስ የሚል ባህሪው ሁል ጊዜ ስራው ሊደርስበት ወደአዘጋጀው ግብ የሚያደርሰውን ነው። ይህ ማለት ውሎው ግቡን መሰረት ያደረገ ነው፡፡ ከግቡ መድረስ እንደሚችል ሙሉ እምነት አለው። እልከኛ ነው፡፡ ግቡ እስኪሳካ ድረስ ደግሞ መሞከር ሊኖርበት እንደሚችል ያምናል እንጅ መሰላቸት የለበትም። ብዙ መከራና ውጣ ውረድ ቢኖረውም ግቡን ለማሳካት ይገፋፋዋል እንጅ ወደኋላ ለመመለስ አያስብም፡፡ የበለጠ ቁርጠኛ ይሆናል። ሌላው የአሸናፊ ሰው ባህሪ ሁል ጊዜ ሃላፊነት ይወስዳል፡፡ ማሳበብ አያውቅም፡፡ ለድርጊቶቹ ሁሉ ተጠያቂ እንደሆነ ያምናል፡፡ ለሰራው ስህተት በሌሎች ሰዎች ላይ ተጠያቂ ለማድረግ አይሞክርም፡፡ በዚህ ምክንያት አሸናፊ ሰው ግቡን እንዲመታ የሚረዳውን የእለት ተዕለት እቅድ አለው።
አሸናፊ ስኬታማ ለመሆን በጣም ጠንክሮ ይሰራል። ይህም ደረጃ በደረጃ ሁሉን እያከናወነ የመጨረሻውን ግብ ላይ ለመድረስ ይረዳዋል፡፡ አሸናፊ አመለካከት ያለው ሰው በባሕርው ምንጊዜም ትሑት ነው፡፡ አሸናፊው ሰው የማያውቃቸው ነገሮች ሊኖሩ እንደሚችሉ ያምናል፡፡ እናም እራሱን ዝቅ አድርጎ ለመማር ዝግጁ ነው። አቅሙን ማስፋት እንዲችል እሱም ውስንነት እንዳለበት ስለሚያውቅ ለመማር ይጓጓል።
ተሸናፊ ስነ ልቦና ያለው ማነው?
ተሸናፊው ከአሸናፊው ጋር ሊነፃፀር የሚችለው በዋናነት በአሉታዊ አስተሳሰቡ እና ቁርጠኛ መሆን አለመቻሉ ነው፡፡ ከአሸናፊው በተለየ ተሸናፊው የስራ ፍቅርም የለውም፡፡ አንድ ጊዜ ሞክሮ ካልተሳካለት ሙሉ በሙሉ ስራውን የመተው እድሉ በጣም ከፍተኛ ነው፡፡ የሚገርመው ነገር ተሸናፊው ለድርጊቱ ኃላፊነቱን አለመውሰዱ እና ለውድቀቱ ሌሎችን መወንጀለኛ ማድረግ መቻሉ ነው። እሱ ብዙውን ጊዜ ለችግሮች አውንታዊ አስተሳሰብ የለውም፡፡ እና በእያንዳንዱ ሁኔታ ውስጥ ያሉትን እድሎች ማየት አይችልም። ይህ የሆነበት ምክንያት ከዕድሎች ይልቅ በአደገኛ ሁኔታዎች ላይ ማተኮር ስለሚቀናው ነው።
ተሸናፊ አመለካከት ያለው ሰው ትሁት አይደለም። ከሱ በታች ላሉት ዝቅ ያለ አመለካከት አለው። ለመማር ዝግጁ አይደለም፡፡ ተሸናፊ መሆኑ ግለሰቡ የአስተሳሰብ አድማሱን እንዳያሰፋ እና ባለበት ቦታ ላይ እንዲቆይ ያደርገዋል። ምንም እንኳን አንድ ነገር እንደምንም ብሎ ቢያሳካም በስራ ባህሪ ሳይሆን በእርሱ በመልካም ባህሪ ጉድለት ምክንያት አይዘልቅም፡፡
ለምሳሌ፤ አንድ ነጋዴን እንመልከት፡፡ ይህ ነጋዴ ቤት ተከራይቶ ያዋጣኛል ያለውን ስራ መስራት ጀመረ፡፡ በንግዱ ብዙ ሳይቆይ የኮሮና ቫይረስ ወረርሽኝ መጣና የንግዱ ስራው ተቀዛቀዘ፡፡ ቢቀጥልም ከኪራዩ ጋር ትርፋማ ሊያደርገው አልቻለም፡፡ ስራውን አቆመ፡፡ ይሄ ከበድ ያለ ችግር ነው፡፡ ስራ ቆመ ማለት ገቢ ቆመ ማለት ነው፡፡ ይህ ሰው የቀን ገቢው ከቆመ ደግሞ ቤተሰቡን ማስተዳደርና መመገብ ይሳነዋል ማለት ነው፡፡ እዚህ ላይ ሰናየው ቀላል ሊመስለን ይችላል፡፡
እርሱም ቆም ብሎ ማሰብ ጀመረ፡፡ ከራሱ ጋርም ብቻ ሳይሆን ከሚቀርባቸው ሰዎች ጋርም መማከር ያዘ፡፡ ብዙ ሀሳብ በአዕምሮው ስለመጣ ሃሳቡን ከሁሉም አቅጣጫ ማየት ማሰላሰል ቅድሚያ ተግባሩ ሆነ፡፡ በመጨረሻም ሰለ ኮሮና ቫይረስ አጠር ያለች ፅሁፍ አዘጋጀና እየዞረ ማስተማርና ያችን ያዘጋጃትን ፅሁፍ በቅናሽ ብር መሸጥ ዋናው ስራው ሆነ፡፡ በዚህም መልካም ስራው በመንግስትም በአካባቢው ህብረተሰብ ዘንድ ትልቅ ምስጋና ተቸረው፡፡ ስኬታማ ሆነ፡፡
ይህ ሰው ስኬታማ እንዲሆን ያደረገው ችግሩን ያየበት እይታ እንደሆነ ልንገነዘብ ይገባል፡፡ ስለችግሩ የተዛባ እይታ ያለው ሰው ለችግሩም መፍትሔ መመልከት አይችልም፡፡ እንደዚህ ዓይነት ነገር ሲገጥመው የሚያዝንና የሚተክዝ እንዲሁም ተስፋ እንደሌለው የሚያስብ ከሆነ ተሸናፊ ሆነ ማለት ነው፡፡ የገጠመው ጨለማ በትንሽ የብርሃን ብልጭታ እንደሚሸሽ ማስተዋል ካልቻለ ያችንም የብርሃን ብልጭታ መለኮስ ከተሳነው እውነትም ይሄ ተሸናፊ ሰው ነው ማለት ነው፡፡
ሁልጊዜ አሸናፊዎች አሸናፊ የሚያደርጋቸው በችግር አለመቸገራቸው ሳይሆን ለዚያ ችግር እጅ አለመስጠታቸው ነው፡፡ ተሸናፊ የሆነ ስነ ልቦና ያላቸው ሰዎች የዚህ ተቃራኒ ናቸው፡፡ ለችግር ቶሎ እጅ ይሰጣሉ፡፡ የገጠማቸውን ፈተና ከፈጣሪ እንደሆነ በማሰብ መፍትሔውንም ከፈጣሪ ይጠብቃሉ፡፡ አሸናፊዎች ደግሞ የችግሩ መነሻ ምክንያት አብዝተው አያስቡም፡፡ አብዝተው የሚስቡት ስለመፍትሔው ነው፡፡
እንቀጥላለን፡፡
................................................................................................................................................
.....................................................................
"Winners see the answer to every problem, and losers see the answer to every problem." Prime Minister Dr. Abiy Ahmed Our world has given birth to many people with a winning mindset. It reached the level of civilization it is today because of the ideas and wonderful work done by these people. At the same time, it has also produced losers. It is because of these people that our world is in crisis, its peace is always disturbed, hunger and persecution are observed. The biggest difference between the two is perspective. People with a defeated attitude have no goals. Even if they have, they will not succeed. People with a winning attitude also have goals. They will achieve it. We know these people by their fruits. Whether they are successful or not shows this very well. Winners are successful. Losers never succeed in life because they always live as losers. An idea that can make a startup successful comes from people who have a winning mentality. Psychologists say with a lot of evidence that neither winning nor losing is given by a creator. "Losing and winning all come down to mindset." They say. When we face defeat by Satan; They say again and again that it is not right to justify it to the Creator when we win. Rather than the psychology we acquire for ourselves after birth. When we are born we are all equal without any difference. So if we ask where this psychological difference comes from, it is important to know that the answer may be our distorted view of things. People with good vision are winners. People with stereotypes become losers. Who has a winning mentality? The most admirable characteristic of a successful person is that he always works towards the goal he sets out to achieve. This means that the contract is based on the goal. He is confident that he can reach his goal. It is stubborn. He believes that he may have to try until the goal is achieved, but he should not get bored. Despite many hardships and ups and downs, he pushes himself to achieve his goal and does not think of backing down. He will be more committed. Another trait of a winning person is always taking responsibility. He knows no persuasion. He believes that he is responsible for all his actions. He does not try to blame other people for his mistakes. Because of this, a successful person has a daily plan that helps them achieve their goals. A winner works very hard to succeed. This will help him to achieve the final goal while doing everything step by step. A person with a winning attitude is always humble by nature. The winner believes that things are possible that he does not know. And he humbles himself and is ready to learn. He knows his limitations and is eager to learn so that he can expand his potential. Who has a loser mentality? A loser can be compared to a winner mainly because of his negative attitude and lack of commitment. Unlike the winner, the loser has no passion for work. If he tries and fails once, chances are very high that he will quit the job altogether. The irony is that the loser does not take responsibility for his actions and blames others for his failure. He usually does not have a positive attitude towards problems. And he cannot see the possibilities in every situation. This is because he tends to focus on risks rather than opportunities. A person with a losing attitude is not humble. He has a low opinion of those below him. Not ready to learn. Being a loser keeps a person from broadening their horizons and staying where they are. Even if he somehow achieves something, it will not last because of his lack of good character, not because of his work ethic. for example; Consider a businessman. This businessman rented a house and started doing what he thought would be profitable. Shortly after the outbreak of the corona virus, the business slowed down. Even if he continued, he could not make it profitable with the rent. He quit his job. This is a serious problem. Stopped work means stopped income. If this person's daily income stops, it means that he will not be able to manage and feed his family. It may seem simple here. He paused and began to think. He began to consult not only with himself but also with those around him. As many thoughts came to his mind, his first task was to look at the thoughts from all angles. Finally, after the corona virus, he prepared a short text and went around teaching and selling the text he prepared at a discount became his main job. With this, he was greatly appreciated by the government and the local community for his good work. It was successful. We must realize that what made this man successful was the way he saw the problem. A person who has a distorted view of the problem cannot see a solution to the problem. When faced with something like this, if he feels sad and resentful and thinks there is no hope, then he has become a loser. If he can't understand that the darkness that he is facing will run away with a small flash of light, and if we fail to shine a flash of light, then this person is truly a loser. What always makes winners winners is not the fact that they don't face a problem, but that they don't give in to it. People with a loser mentality are the opposite. They are quick to give in to problems. They think that the challenge they face is from the Creator and they expect the solution from the Creator. Winners don't think too much about the root cause of the problem. What they are most interested in is the solution. We will continue.
Bamlaku Abebaw, From abajifar village
,jimma, Ethiopia